Can't Take It Anymore
by Reader4Lyfe
Summary: She left him for reasons even he couldn't fathom and for five years he didn't know how to live a life because she wasn't in it. But then he was invited to the 5th Annual Final Battle Ball. And he got something back that he thought he never would.


**Title: Can't Take It Anymore**

**Summary: She left him for reasons even he couldn't fathom and for five years he didn't know how to live a life because she wasn't in it. But then he was invited to the 5th Annual Final Battle Ball. And he got something back that he thought he would never get back again. One-shot. Dramione.**

**This was something I made for my senior project. I had to do a presentation and this was physical product. The subject of my presentation was writing, hence this little thing. My judges loved it and I hope you do to. This is my first HP one-shot, not my first story. This was beta'd by my wonderful best friend, Little Silver Rose. She her some love, read her stories. They are about as good as mine. Hehe.**

**More at the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned HP, Draco would be my slave and I would never give him up.......mwhahahahaha.**

**Draco's POV**

Why did I do this to myself? Why did I constantly do this to myself every day? I drank and wallowed and wallowed and drank. Call me pathetic but I don't give a shit because, let's face it, what's the point? I lost something that had captured my heart—something I never knew I had in the first place—and now I'm not sure what my purpose in life is anymore.

Five years ago was the final battle at Hogwarts. Plenty of people fought and plenty people died, including my father. I was actually grateful when I found out he died. The bastard had put my mother and me through so much, it's painful just thinking about it sometimes. My mother shed a few tears when I told her that he was dead and I knew it was only because she was once in love with him. They had a good marriage, up until my mother became pregnant with me. This I only know from the stories she used to tell me when I was young.

Lucius Malfoy decided to go to extremes to get what he wanted. He'd do anything and everything, including staying the Voldemort's inner circle even while he knew that Voldemort, himself, was torturing his wife for information she didn't know. He didn't care what happened to her or anyone but himself, for that matter. It hurt my mother deeply to be so alone but she had me and we helped each other as best we could.

We spent holidays together when I was in school and she oft visited me when the loneliness overwhelmed her. She knew all my secrets and my fears and my happy moments; she knew everything except one thing. And that was my love for Hermione Granger. I never told my mother that I started having feeling for that feisty, muggle-born witch by the time my third year at Hogwarts rolled around. To this day I'm not sure why but she never knew, until the final battle.

I hid my feelings from others because I knew no one would believe me. No one would even give me the time of day. I still acted the snooty son that everyone thought was the real me but behind closed doors, it was a different story.

I noticed things about her. I noticed how when she was in deep, which was quite often, she chew on her quill or bite her lip. I noticed that when she found something interesting her hazel eyes would light up and glow, almost like stars in the sky. I noticed that right before her hand shot up to answer a question in class her head would nod in time with the words that would soon pour out of her mouth. Anyone would notice how ridiculously smart she was but I noticed other things.

I noticed that as the years went by that her full brown hair become longer, reaching the middle of her back. If she sat in the sun as she tended to do, and leant up against a tree reading a huge book, you could see three different kinds of browns in her hair.

Call me a stalker if you wish, but eh, I watched her. I watched her because she was the only real and good and kind hearted thing in my horrendous life. She put up with Potter's shenanigans and Weasley's puppy love and loud outbursts. She put up with a lot of things that she didn't have to and it made me wonder how much more she could stand before her head exploded. She took so much crap all the time; I was amazed by it on a daily basis.

I missed her terribly.

I groaned and rolled over on my couch and took a swig of the scotch bottle I had in my hand. I think I am already partially drunk, but who cares? I drink again and pass out, thoughts of one brunette running through my head.

_

* * *

_

_October: Seventh Year_

_I caressed her face as she leaned against my chest. We were sitting in a very isolated spot behind the castle. It was our sixth year at Hogwarts. We had a chance to finally spend some time together as our schedules were rigorous. Hermione was reading a random book she brought from home. It was so comfortable and peaceful, being like this with her. I cherished every moment I could get with her._

"_Look at that." Her soft voice washed over me. I was too busy staring at her to realize the sun was setting, casting pink and red colors across the sky. It was, in fact, beautiful, but not as beautiful as Hermione and I told her so. She blushed and looked down._

"_I love it when you do that." She knew I was talking about her blush. It was one of the first things I'd ever said to her that was nice._

_She turned in my arms and rested her hands on my shoulders. My own went to her face as I leaned in and kissed her soundly. I kissed her until we couldn't breathe. I kissed her to try and show all the love I had for her._

"_I love you, Hermione. I love you so much."_

* * *

_December: Sixth year_

"_Do you promise? Promise me, Draco! Please!" Hermione gripped my white shirt in her fists, begging me to come back. She started sobbing in my shirt._

_Lucius sent me an owl, demanding my presence at once. Usually whenever he demanded my presence I came back beaten and bruised. He wants me to become a Death Eater but I continually refuse. I won't do it because I could lose Hermione, my mother, my life. I never, ever wanted to be one. Not even when I was an evil little child who didn't know any better._

_He tried to brainwash me and I resisted. My mother used to tell me to go along with it, that if I did it would save me some pain and heartache, but I told her no. If I did that it would be letting Lucius think he had the upper hand, and she knew that if that happened, then no one could stop him. He was sinister. Sometimes I think he was worse than Voldemort himself. Hermione was still crying on my chest as I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her hair._

"_I promise. I promise I'll come back. I always come back." I took her face in my hands, wiped her tears from her face. "I will come back." I vowed._

_She always did this when I was called away, which had been quite often as of late. I gazed into her eyes, still shining with tears, and waited until she nodded, believing my words. I kissed her lips, once, twice, three times, then another time that was long, lingering, and full of the promise I had to make to her every time I left._

"_I love you, Draco." She whispered and my hand slipped from hers as I walked out of the Room of Requirement._

_

* * *

_

_September: Sixth Year_

_I cornered her in a hallway where I knew no one would come this late at night, especially if they didn't want to get caught being out past curfew. Sometimes being a prefect had its advantages. Hermione and I were set to do patrols together and I decided this was the perfect time to actually come out with my true feelings. I knew it was going to be hard. I knew she would think I was joking._

_It would pain me that she thought so, but I couldn't blame her. After all the things I did to her….I had stopped once I realized my true feelings for her, which was just last year, our fifth year. I couldn't take the pained look on her face every time I called her a mudblood and sneered, every time I shoved her books from her hands, every time I did something, anything, that brought tears to her hazel eyes._

_I trapped her against a wall, my hands on either side of her head. She gasped, as we had been walking and totally ignoring each other's presence._

"_Malfoy, what are you—" I cut her off with a quick kiss on her lips. I almost groaned at the softness and taste of them. One of the millions of thoughts I had of taking her in the most primal way ran through my head but I knew I would never get that far, at least not tonight._

_I pulled back just enough to drag my lips across her cheek to her ear. I could feel her breath come in quick uneven pants against my neck and the open part of my shirt._

"_I'm going to tell you something. It's not a joke or a prank or a lie of any kind. You can even use Veritesarum on me if you truly don't believe me. It would kill me if you don't believe me, Hermione." She gasped at my use of her first name. "It really would. I've wanted to tell you this since the moment I realized that my feelings were actually true and real. Hermione…" I paused._

_I was scared. Scared of rejection, scared of the pain I knew would come if she didn't even give me a chance, scared of the hurt that would come if I had to see her face every day and not be able to touch it or feel its warmth against my own skin. I shied away from those thoughts long enough to say what I needed to say._

"_I love you." She gasped again. I could see her mouth beginning to open with a response, her eyes beginning to shine with the words that were about to come out and again, I stopped her with a kiss, but this one was longer and held something that wasn't in the first one. My body began to react in the way it usually did when I thought of her in ways I shouldn't. It intensified when she started to respond to me._

_Her hands reached up and weaved their way into my hair. I had to let out a groan at that. It was something I only dreamed about. One of my hands went to her neck while the other went to her waist, pulling her into me. The warmth of her body was intoxicating. I pulled back, gasping._

"_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for all the things I said to you, all the things I did to you. I can't tell you how sorry I am. Words seem incredibly inadequate right now. I know there's nothing I can do to take it all back, but I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you'll have me."_

_I stopped to try and regulate my breathing. My words were coming out in a rush and I wasn't sure if she understood me. But I kept going. I had to, or I would never do it._

"_I know there's nothing I can do to fix what happened between us. I know there's nothing I can say that to heal the scars I've inflicted. I know—" This time she was the one to cut me off with her lips._

_They moved against mine, softly, hesitantly, gently and a whole lot of other –ly's. She grabbed my face in her hands and held it tightly. She didn't let me move an inch away from her and I was eternally grateful. When she pulled back we were both panting._

_When I caught my breath, I spoke. "What was that for? I mean, not that I didn't like it, I did, a lot, but what—"_

"_For taking so long to tell me."_

_My eyes widened. What the hell was she talking about?_

"_Hermione, what are you talking about?"_

_She looked down impishly and shook her head. I placed a finger under chin so she could meet my eyes._

"_Ginny figured you out."_

"_W-w-what do you mean she figured me out?"_

"_She noticed you watching me. At first I scoffed and blew it off. I thought she was just joking with me, but she was dead serious. I told her it was nothing. I mean why would someone like you be staring at me any chance you get?" She laughed nervously. "I wasn't so sure it was true but she was adamant about it so I just told her okay. And this was back in fifth year, right after you stopped…tormenting me." We both flinched but she kept on. "I was completely oblivious to it. I didn't think you would want someone like me, especially with the way you treated me."_

"_Hermione, what do you mean, 'someone like me'?"_

"_Look at yourself. You're handsome, smart, witty, did I mention handsome?" We laughed and it felt like heaven, hearing her laugh. It was beautiful and light and I loved it._

"_Hermione, I can't tell you how beautiful you are, how smart and intelligent and reserved you are. There aren't words. I've wanted to tell you these things for awhile. I just—"_

"_Why didn't you?"_

"_Hermione…" I sighed, exasperated. I loved saying her name, though. "What have I been to you since the moment we met? A complete and utter git, that's what, more than a git really. How was I supposed to know that you were going to take my feelings for you like this? If I had known, I would've done that a long time ago but I didn't, and you gave me nothing to prove that otherwise. I had nothing. I kept it all inside. I knew you would never believe me. You'd think it was a joke and I'd spend the rest of my days wondering about what could've been. I just didn't want to be hurt and made a fool of. I—" She kissed again and that was much better than spilling my guts but I felt like a total idiot._

_We didn't get back to our dorms until about 3am despite the fact that we knew we had classes at 7am._

_

* * *

_

_J__uly: Summer after graduation_

"_Hermione, don't do this! Please! I'll do anything! Just don't do this to me. I can't live without you. I can't breathe without you. You know that. Please, Hermione…"_

_I begged her on my hands and knees not to leave me. I flinched._

_She was leaving me. After two years, she was leaving me. I couldn't believe it. My mind just wouldn't comprehend it._

"_I have to, Draco. It's my duty. It's what everyone wants, what everyone knows." Her voice, face and eyes were void of emotion. I couldn't read anything from her; I didn't know what she was thinking or feeling. It was frustrating, but that wasn't the important thing right now._

_She was leaving me._

"_I love you, Hermione." I whimpered._

_I saw a brief flicker of the love she told me she had for me but it lefts almost as soon as it had come. If I didn't know what it looked like, I would've missed it. She kissed my forehead and walked out of the Leaky Cauldron without a look back._

_She took my heart with her. She took my love with her. She took my life with her._

* * *

I woke up with a start. My head pounded and my chest hurt where my heart was. There was some incessant rapping on my window. I tried to ignore it at first but I couldn't so I got up and opened the window, letting in the brown Ministry owl. It dropped an off white envelope on my coffee table and flew out.

I picked it up as I walked to the bathroom. I grabbed some Pepper-Up potion and a glass of water to wash it down with because that stuff was positively revolting. I opened the letter only to realize it was the same letter I'd receive around Christmastime for the past five years; an invitation the Fifth Annual Final Battle Ball.

It was to be held in two days.

I sighed.

_Two days later…_

I strolled up the trail to Hogwarts, where they always held the ball in the Great Hall. It was cold and I was glad I wore an extra set of robes, though I would have to charm my shoes dry once I got inside. Other people were walking up the trail too. Some I recognized; Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bullstrode and plenty others from Slytherin and the rest of the houses. They didn't pay me the slightest bit of attention as we walked inside. They considered me a traitor after they found out that I was on the Order's side the whole time, well except for Zabini. He was and still is my best friend. He just hated being around me when I get especially 'mopy' as he put it. I haven't talked to him in about a week. He was away on a business trip or something and I'm assuming he just got his invitation as he's not in his best dress robes.

I nodded to him as we passed through the doors. The Great Hall was as huge as it always was, with a few alterations here and there from after the war. There were white and silver decorations hanging and floating from the ceiling. Fairies were everywhere and occasionally I'd see one sprinkle some dust on someone and follow them around. I'd have to read up on that…

I followed the crowd around the tables and chairs that were set up to a table where some witches I didn't know were taking names. It seems we have assigned seats this year. When I got to the table, a witch asked for my name which I gave and tried not to frown over the fact she was practically falling all over herself in front of me.

She handed me a card that had my name and table number on it. I thanked her and walked away in search in my table. When I found it, no one was sitting there. There were six seats and I took the one that had the easiest escape route to the door in case I wanted to bolt like I usually did.

I sat and almost instantly a shot of whisky appeared in front of me. I almost smirked. It seemed the tables were charmed to have anything appear in front you that you wanted or had a craving for. I, obviously, had a craving for whisky. It was just a fleeting thought but it was what I wanted or needed to get through this night.

I sat and listened to the soft Christmas music playing, watching as people danced and talked and mingled. Sometime later Headmistress McGonagall stood from her seat at the heads' table and greeted everyone as if we were really at Hogwarts and it was just another day of school. We had a moment of silence for the fallen, acknowledgments of the good deeds done, and a speech from Harry Potter, himself.

Someone I didn't recognize, a woman, was standing behind him. She was wearing a Slytherin green strapless dress that hugged her curves in the most delicious way. Her hair was in waves flowing down her back. She had a slight blush on her cheeks and neck that reminded me of Hermione and my empty heart gave a beat.

On the other side of Potter was Ronald Weasley. He looked as gangly as ever but his hair had grown and so did his height. The look in his eyes, though, was quite off for someone who helped save the Wizarding World from a horrible doom. He raised a hand to touch the woman but she shied away. It was subtle but I was watching them very closely. Weasley grabbed the woman's arm a bit too roughly for public eyes to see and she reluctantly went to him. Potter stayed oblivious to all of this.

I had a strong feeling that I needed to go up there and protect her, to grab her and run, to keep her as close to me as possible so no danger would ever befall her.

Potter wrapped up his speech and the woman and Weasley stepped forward.

And with a burst of realization, I knew it was Hermione.

The woman was Hermione!

_Hermione!_

My empty heart stopped and started and stopped again.

She looked even more beautiful than the last time I saw her.

Weasley spoke, Hermione said nothing. She stayed partially behind his back. I wondered why she did this. She was always so expressive, so out there. She never liked to be hidden by the shadow of a man. She was an independent woman. She could do whatever she wanted, yet she hid…

Weasley finished up and they all three walked away from the heads' table and…towards me.

They smiled and shook hands on the way but when they reached me, I couldn't help but feel like I could breathe again. She was here, in front of me. And she looked like she needed help…

Suddenly I didn't care why she left me. I didn't care why she broke my heart and took it with her. I didn't care that she took away my only reason for living. I wanted her and I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take life without her anymore.

I can't take it anymore.

**Do you like it? I hope so. Let me know by clicking that rectangular green button that says 'review'. **

**Too all my readers:**

**I am sooooooo sorry for not updating my stories in a while. I've been swamped with work as I am a senior in highschool and they like to swamp us with pointless work. Now that I have more time on my hands I will update SAM sometime next week before I go on break and possibly TNT (my collabo with LSR) and LIG. Look out for those. I never start something I don't finish and believe you me these stories will be finished.**

**On another note:**

**If I get enough reviews or if people like this one shot enough I will continue it because I do realize that it is sort of a cliff hanger. The rating is also subject to change if that happens. It's up to you guys. ^_^**

**Right now I have a headache so I'm going to stop boring you all with real life and such. Lol.**

**PM me with any questions, comments, concerns you have and I'll get back to you ASAP.**

**R4L, peace!**


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